


Found Love

by Elivra



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Universe, Eruri Valentine's 2020, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, The Eruris are idiots in love as usual what else is new, They're also snarky and sexy but most importantly they are Soft™, my first attempt at writing gay smut pls be gentle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elivra/pseuds/Elivra
Summary: Erwin starts getting to know Levi, and he finds out that Levi is more, far more than his sharp edges. Levi is kind, he is compassionate, he is awkward, and quiet, and steadfast and honest. He is fascinating, and unpredictable, and so, so easy to fall for.And Erwin does.Written for Eruri Valentine's event on Twitter, Day 1: Confession of LoveRated for explicit smut.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 31
Kudos: 350





	Found Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Eruri Valentine's Event on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/search?q=%23EruriValentines&;src=hashtag_click).
> 
> [Prompt for Day 1: Confession of Love](https://twitter.com/holidayeruri/status/1214330139846295553)
> 
> Y'all, I did it. I have finally, after more than a dozen years of writing fanfiction, sat down and written smut. Proper explicit smut. Gay smut. 7k words of soft, dumb old men having sex. Lord help me.
> 
> I never expected it to turn this long, but Erwin apparently is a pining, thirsty idiot, while I apparently am an idiot who HAS to describe everything as it happens. Please bear with me, I'm still on a learning curve with this.
> 
> That said, happy reading! Hope you enjoy the porn! ^_^

* * *

It begins with a kiss.

Erwin considers himself a practical man. He ought to, because that is what he has told himself to be. Practical, logical, emotionless, a _hard_ man. As the Commander of the Survey Corps, he can't afford to be anything else.

He knows to keep his more irrational side hidden, his emotions set for specific occasions. Grief and guilt is reserved for moments alone, on the anniversary of his father's death, on lonely nights spent writing death notices. Anger is best channeled into his blades when he slices across a Titan's nape. Joy and humour is worth sharing with a few, trusted people, like Mike and Hange. It's a balance he has cultivated, ever since he got made Squad Leader. It's worked, for _years_.

Levi upsets all of it.

When he meets Levi, he feels for the first time in a long time, _triumph_ . Erwin remembers a phrase from one of his father's forbidden books -'wings of victory'. Levi when he flies embodies that sentiment. Levi when he flies is not just freedom. Levi is _victory_.

And then he starts getting to know Levi. 

Levi is brusque. His words are crass, his manners insolent, his behaviour violent. He is a lightning bolt cast in human form, and he is _beautiful_ . Erwin starts getting to know Levi, and he finds out that Levi is more, far more than his sharp edges. Levi is kind, he is compassionate, he is awkward, and quiet, and steadfast and honest. He is fascinating, and unpredictable, and so, _so_ easy to fall for.

And Erwin does. He falls hard, wakes up one day and realises he can’t imagine a life without Levi, and panics. He’s sure he’s just as important to Levi too, an honour he doesn’t take lightly, but he can’t believe, can’t help but wonder if Levi’s thoughts run in the same vein as his. But he can’t be sure, so he tries to rationalise it, tries to ignore it, tries to forget it. He can’t, of course. Levi has carved himself a place by his side with surprising ease, and Erwin knows with every passing day that no amount of logic or sense of duty can deny what he feels for his Captain, his closest friend. 

And so it is unsurprising, really, that he slips one day, and kisses him. 

But then, wonder of wonders, Levi _kisses him back_.

It happens after a long night of paperwork. They have worked together for so long they’ll barely get a couple hours of sleep before the new day begins. Erwin apologises for making Levi stay up, Levi tells him to not be an ass, grabs his hand to haul him from his chair, and Erwin kisses him.

It is brief, fleeting, a mere brush of his lips against Levi’s, then they spring apart as if stung. Erwin mouths wordlessly for a solid second— _I’m sorry, I’m tired, I don’t know what I was thinking, please forgive me—_

But then Levi grabs his bolotie and yanks him closer to kiss him, _properly_ kiss him, his lips soft but firm. This time they part slowly with a soft _smack_ of their lips, and Levi says roughly, “Now go get some sleep.” And walks away.

He just. Walks away.

*

* * *

Erwin has to go to the Capital in the morning with all their carefully constructed plans. In the solitude of the carriage, he lets himself dwell on the mess of emotions that the kiss has created in him. Levi— Levi _reciprocated_. It is an incredible development, but Erwin can't help but worry. What does this mean for them, Commander and Captain? What does this mean for their friendship? What does Erwin expect from this changed dynamic? What does Levi expect from this?

In that moment, Erwin is glad he is good at compartmentalizing. He focuses on his duties in his meetings, and they take up so much of his thoughts that Erwin is too tired to think of much else when he returns to base two days later. And while he yearns to say ' _we need to talk'_ to Levi, he doesn't know what exactly he wants to say. Erwin often has words for every occasion, but anything to do with Levi has proven to be the exception in many parts of his life.

He has a quick meeting with the officers to brief them of his trip. His funding request was successful, but came with several distressing caveats. They have to remake their itinerary, restructure their formation. It is almost midnight when they are done, and when Levi hangs back as the others file out, Erwin feels a spasm of nervousness. He is not ready for this, he wants to be, but—

Levi stalks back up to him, and pulls him out of his chair, just like the last time. But this time, he simply continues to hold his hand. "You look like shit," Levi says, his voice clipped. "Go to bed."

Erwin hesitates. "The plans—"

"-will be there in the morning. Get going, old man." Levi nudges him towards the door.

Erwin pauses, then begins, "Levi—"

"We'll talk later. Good night." And with a squeeze of his hand— something he has never done before— Levi leaves.

Leaves him confused and yearning yet again.

*

* * *

They never do get to discuss the first kiss. Instead, there are lingering touches, softer words, a brush of fingertips against a cheekbone here, a ruffle of silky hair there, and for now it is enough. The planning of the Expedition remains the highest priority, and then, the Expedition itself. 

Erwin nearly dies on the Expedition.

He is caught in a Titan’s hand that comes seemingly out of nowhere. Erwin feels it squeeze painfully around him, feels his gear dig into him, hears a metallic _snap_ , and he acts on instinct. His blades are already in his hand; he hacks off the giant fingers and rappels away. His gear is broken -he knows for certain, now -and he tumbles to the ground painfully. The very next moment, he hears the Titan crash down, the whizzing sound of the gear — and before he can see who took it down, someone grabs him by the collar and yanks him to his feet.

It’s Levi —of _course_ it’s Levi, and he looks so angry Erwin opens his mouth to pacify him. But he never gets to it, because Levi, still holding on to his collar, jerks him down, and kisses him. 

It is nothing like their first kiss: this one is violent, forceful, and when Erwin feels Levi jam his tongue into his mouth, he feels a jolt of _heat_ course through him. It is so strong that all he wants to do is shove the man against the nearest tree and keep kissing him and _more_ , but the ground is still trembling with nearby Titans, and Levi breaks away first. Erwin chases his lips, but Levi is out of reach now, eyes sparkling, mouth set. “There’s a body over there,” he barks breathlessly, pointing with a still-steaming sword. “Get their gear.”

And Erwin, though he doesn’t want to, orders himself to _calm the hell down_ and goes to replace his ruined gear.

*

* * *

It is a bad Expedition. The death toll is their highest since the Reclamation Expedition. They return to curses and jeers, and Erwin spends a harrowing, busy day back at base, helping in the sick bay because they lost too many medics this time. Afterwards there are more meetings, debriefings, and reports to work on; so by the time it is midnight, he’s barely started on the death notices. 

As always, it is Levi who comes to check up on him. Erwin tries to remember if anyone helped him like this before Levi entered his life. He can't picture any of his friends in Levi's place, because he has never felt so burdened by his duties before. Erwin cannot imagine being a Commander without Levi by his side. The thought frightens him.

"Do I even have to say it?" Levi mutters. "Come on."

Erwin pauses. He wants to explain how badly he _doesn't_ want to sleep. How he's dreading the nightmares that will surely plague him tonight, fearsome hellscapes of blood and screams and steam and fire. Maybe he'll see the entire Corps wiped out again. Maybe it'll be just Levi dying and that's always bad enough. Or maybe he'll be treated to one of the worse ones: himself as a Titan, devouring his father, or Levi, or both of them.

He simply says, "I can't."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I…" Erwin sighs, sets down his quill. "I can't, Levi. Not tonight."

He watches the minute changes in Levi's expression. Sees confusion, then understanding, then something wholly different and _soft_ settle on his features.

"Come on," Levi repeats, and his voice is soft too.

"Levi—"

"Tch." He says nothing more, simply gestures with an outstretched hand. Erwin hesitates again, but the hand seems magnetic in its pull, and he takes it. Levi lets go only to push the chair back into place and dim the lights. Then he grabs Erwin's hand again and leads him, all the way from his office to his room.

Levi has spent the night in his room more than once before, but always as a sentinel in a chair, usually next to a stack of paperwork. This time he goes straight to the bed and crawls in. Erwin stops, remembers the kiss from the Expedition. He doesn't — he wants, so _badly_ , but—

Levi tugs on his hand and Erwin, too numb to think, too tired for words, follows. He's still wearing his uniform shirt and white trousers, but Levi doesn't seem to mind. He curls up with his back against the wall, and waits.

Both of them let out a soft sigh when Erwin's head meets the pillow. They stare at each other for a long, unbroken moment.

Then Levi opens his arms wide and Erwin rolls in, his sigh breaking at the end. He leans his head on Levi's sharp collarbone, feels an arm encircle his waist, a hand gently cradle the nape of his neck. Erwin lets out another sob-sigh.

"Sleep," Levi murmurs, holding him just a little tighter, and Erwin is convinced he is in love with this man, but neither of them speaks another word. Eventually Levi's steady breaths lull Erwin to sleep. He doesn't get a single nightmare.

*

* * *

It begins with a kiss.

Specifically with their second one —the rushed, heated one in the middle of the Expedition. Time goes on, the all-too-familiar grief is pushed back to the recesses of his mind, and Erwin finds a new side of him awakening in the aftermath of that kiss.

He can’t stop thinking about it. Can’t stop thinking about the way Levi’s body had felt pressed against his, the way his tongue had invaded his mouth, writhing with a kind of urgent _need_ Erwin had never seen in him. He finds himself fixating on Levi’s features: the glint of the sun in his silky dark hair, the corded muscles in his forearms, his slender fingers gripping the rim of a cup, his pale throat bobbing with every sip of tea… For the first time ever, Erwin actually cuts short one of his tea breaks with Levi, blurts out some kind of excuse and locks himself up in his bathroom. He almost doesn’t recognise his reflection in the mirror above the sink: he looks feverish, eyes bright, flushed cheeks, sweaty palms. He washes his face twice with cold water and forces himself to think of other things before exiting the room. He is almost glad when he finds that Levi is gone.

Erwin is no stranger to lust. He’s had his share of attractions, though he’s almost never acted on them. As a cadet, whatever was between him and Marie was gone before it even started, and there were a couple trysts with men he never saw again. Since joining the Survey Corps, he’s only had assignations with a demanding Countess that quickly stopped when she tired of him; no one else. He knows lust, understands it, gives into it sometimes by jerking himself off quickly and unemotionally in the privacy of his shower.

But never has he _wanted_ someone the way he wants Levi.

His dreams are often grim even when they’re not nightmares, so he thinks nothing of it when he dreams of Levi bearing down on him, covered in blood and _furious_ . This is a memory turned into a dream, and Erwin calmly watches the steam waft off the blades in his hand, knowing what comes next. But then dream Levi flings his swords away before coming to a standstill in front of him, and instead of screaming in pain and rage, instead of trying to kill him, he hisses, _“Kneel.”_

Erwin obeys, of _course_ he obeys him.

Then Levi's beautiful hand grabs the back of his head and shoves him forward and suddenly everything makes sense to Erwin, because Levi's not wearing his uniform and gear, in fact he's— 

Erwin jolts awake. He is covered in sweat. And he's incredibly, _painfully_ hard.

Shock and confusion only reign in his mind for a split second before he remembers the dream again, remembers the calm pinpricks of Levi's gaze, the pale lines of his exposed abdomen, and a small groan escapes Erwin. He hasn't woken up like this since he was an adolescent. He has _never_ dreamt of anyone, let alone Levi, like this. 

_Kneel_ , Levi's whisper echoes in his mind again and Erwin touches himself immediately, too aroused to ignore. In his mind he imagines his dream continuing, the images only serving to pump his hand faster, but it's _not enough_ — 

He's twisted around now, biting his moans into his pillow, hips jerking against the bed, fingers clawing at the empty space next to him. He wants, he wants, he _wants so badly_ and he's close but he's _alone_ and— 

_Yesss_ , Levi's breathy hiss is something Erwin has never heard but can imagine clearly. "Levi," he mouths at his pillow, _drooling_ , and Erwin can't help but think how disgusted Levi would be by this display, how sloppy and unclean he must look to an observer. But he's too far gone now, and he's practically sobbing until he finally reaches fever pitch and comes, his groan tinged with relief. But the feeling is fleeting and after resting for barely half a minute, Erwin sits up and looks at his ruined sheets, revulsion and shame welling up inside him.

He's an absolute, disgusting mess. And Levi _hates_ messes. Quiet and remorseful, he strips the bed and cleans up.

*

* * *

Erwin doesn't think he can face Levi after his embarrassing morning, but unsurprisingly, he can't avoid him. Their schedules are too in sync, too intertwined for him to stay away for long. When the time comes for their daily morning briefing, his embarrassment lingers for all of five minutes before Levi makes one of his tasteless quips about a noble they are discussing.

"A… 'piece of constipated rye bread shit'," Erwin repeats impassively.

Levi shrugs. "Have you ever seen the shit that comes out when you've eaten rye bread?"

They stare at each other for a long moment. Then Levi looks away, turns a page of his report lazily. "You know I'm right."

Mirth swells in Erwin's chest and he bursts out laughing; trust Levi to say the perfect, ridiculous thing to set him at ease. Erwin suddenly feels as if a weight has been lifted from his chest. This is Levi, he knows him, _loves_ him, and he's lucky to be a part of his close circle of friends. Whatever happened in his bedroom this morning is just a slip, a secret for him to keep to himself. It won't affect his precious relationship with Levi, because he won't let it. He'll make sure it doesn't happen again.

*

* * *

It happens again. 

He blames the first time on his libido, the result of a long spate of abstinence. The second time it happens, he dreams of their kiss, the strong and heated one outside the Walls. In his dream, they don't stop, gore and titans be damned, and when he wakes up he's so close to finishing he barely touches himself before coming hard, wheezing Levi's name into his pillow again.

He's contemplative as he makes his bed. This is potentially a problem, and he _can't_ let it become a problem, can't let it upset the delicate balance of interactions he has established with Levi. As incredible as it may seem, he knows Levi cares for him, and from that kiss — that damned kiss that started it all — he knows that Levi is certainly _passionate_ . But Erwin knows that passion cannot be mistaken for lust, that there are people who can feel one but not the other. He thinks of Levi's grimaces whenever the talk around him turns suggestive, the way he abstains and even avoids conversations about sex. Erwin has long assumed, without overtly thinking about it, that Levi falls in the category of people that can be passionate without being lustful. The last thing Levi would want would be Erwin _propositioning_ him.

In any case, Erwin cannot afford to want anything. He cannot, he _dare_ not, he has too many responsibilities, and Levi has already given him so much… And so Erwin says nothing of his secret desires, ignores every suggestion of it in his mind.

He ignores the way his heart beats faster every time Levi is within arm's reach. He ignores the way Levi's smell lingers on his jacket after Erwin drapes it over him dozing on his office couch one afternoon. He tries to forget the way Levi's lips feel when they kiss again: this time in a hidden alcove in a noble's manor, this time slow, deliberate, and far more intense than the others. This time, Erwin has to physically talk himself out of following Levi to his room after the party, trying to spare Levi from having to deal with his tipsy, lecherous self. This time, jerking himself off doesn't bring him any sort of relief and he falls asleep in a huddle on his chair, desperate and lonely.

Things are like this for a while. Erwin thinks he needs to have some sort of conversation with Levi; their relationship is going unaddressed for too long. But sometimes, when Levi brings him a mug of hot tea after a gruelling day, comes to his office and shoulders as much of his workload as he can, Erwin thinks that maybe things are just right, and nothing needs explaining after all.

*

* * *

_Slam_.

"Ah, Levi." Erwin doesn't look up from the letter he is going over, but when Levi drags his chair back with more force than usual, Erwin glances up.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Why would there be?" Levi snaps, picks up the topmost document from the pile already waiting for him.

"You look… annoyed."

"I'm always annoyed, Erwin."

Erwin smiles. "That's not true."

Levi simply makes a deprecating sound and continues to read his document. Erwin lets it go, and goes back to the letter. He must be frowning without realising it because Levi suddenly says, "What's that?"

Erwin looks up again. "This? A response from Lord Herschel to our request."

"What shit is he spewing?"

Erwin frowns again. "I'm… not sure. His words are overly formal and he keeps evading the point." He sighs. "His chain of thinking appears very convoluted."

"Of course their thoughts are fucking convoluted," Levi spits. "Hypocritical bastards." There is so much vitriol in his voice that Erwin looks at him again, properly this time. Levi isn't just annoyed.

Levi is _furious_.

"What's wrong, Levi?"

Levi whips his document away and crosses his arms. "What do you think?" He grumbles.

Erwin stares at him. "I apologise, but I have absolutely no idea."

"Stop fucking with me. The article."

Understanding flashes across Erwin. "Ah." 

Levi stares back at him. "Seriously? You forgot about it?"

"Well, yes," Erwin admits. Levi is referring to an article that was just published in a weekly gossip rag in the interior. The article details interviews from several women who claimed to have 'been with the convoluted Commander of the Survey Corps', all of whom had made oblique comments about his sexual prowess, or lack thereof.

_He's good looking alright, but there's nothing inside his head but titans and fighting. I don't think he knows anything about pleasing a woman and I don't think he cares and if I couldn't 'warm him up' you best believe no one can!_

It is silly, scurrilous, and not the worst thing he has heard said about him. These journals are known for their spurious material, and most people recognise the absurdity in their claims. Erwin knows that being featured in it will probably cause some annoying jibes at the next fundraiser he'll attend but he really can't take it seriously.

Which is why he's surprised that Levi apparently has.

"Levi," he starts, but Levi stands up abruptly, picks up their empty mugs and stalks over to the ensuite where Erwin can hear him rinse them. When he steps back inside the room he halts, arms still crossed over his chest.

"It's not… it's not meant to be taken seriously, Levi," he tries to explain. “No one really pays attention to that drivel—”

“I know what it is. I’ve seen the pigs read them.”

“... I see.”

“They lap up that shit, drivel or not. It gives them something else to snigger about behind their gaudy fucking fans.”

“You’re right.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

Erwin shrugs, smiles lightly. “It’s nothing new.” Levi glances away, frowning. “You shouldn’t let it bother you, either,” Erwin adds quietly.

Levi huffs and walks over to him. “They’re lies,” he mutters. “Shitty, stupid lies.” His hand comes up and traces his jawline gently, and Erwin’s heart instantly begins to beat faster. “‘No warmth’ my ass. It’s like they don’t know you at all.”

Erwin grasps his wrist. “You’re right,” he says softly. “They don’t.”

Levi simply grunts in agreement before leaning down and kissing him, slow and soft. Erwin savours the way Levi’s pliant lips move against his, the way his hand drifts to the nape of his neck, the other onto his shoulder. This, _this_ is something Erwin can never get used to, something he never wants to give up. It is precious, something Levi has given up to him, something he never means to take lightly, to ignore, or forget, or ruin, something more than he ever thought he deserved—

Levi leans back. “Stop.” He kisses him lightly. “Stop thinking. You,” kisses him again, “think too much.”

“Alright,” Erwin whispers, and Levi _lunges_. Erwin couldn't think too much if he tried now, because Levi's kiss seems to consume him, strong and soft and passionate and gentle all at once. When they part, they only do so for lack of air. Erwin manages to gasp "Levi—" but then they are kissing again, and any hesitation he had fades away. He has no excuses anyway: no titans to escape or crowds to hide from, no danger of someone walking in on them this late at night in his own private chambers. No need to stop at all.

Time turns meaningless as they continue to kiss, tongues twisting, hands roving. Erwin only realises Levi is on his lap when he feels himself start to get hard again, but before he can even think about drawing away, Levi _presses in_ , hips rolling, and he moans, soft and unbidden, into Levi's mouth.

Levi wrenches away, and the heat in his gaze is so intense it renders him speechless. "Bed," Levi rasps hoarsely. " _Now_."

And Erwin, of course, obeys him.

*

* * *

They begin with a kiss.

Soft and slow, before they even reach the bed, but Erwin is already feeling feverish, frantic. Levi is _with_ him at this moment, willing and enthusiastic and uncharacteristically affectionate, and Erwin feels a great rush of adoration. He nudges Levi onto the edge of his bed before _finally_ moving his kisses further down his jaw, his exquisite neck, and Levi lets him. He shucks his shirt right up until his arms and keeps kissing his way down, laves at a dark nipple fervently and Levi lets him. Down, down his strong and firm abdomen, he tastes the salty sweat from the tiny roll of muscle folded over the waist of his pants and Levi _lets him_. Erwin feels dizzy, dumbstruck.

 _God_ , he loves this man.

He hooks his fingers on the waistband of his slacks, and Levi lets him, helps him pull it down. Erwin falls to his knees and carefully untangles the clothes from around his ankles and tosses them aside. Then he leans back, and looks up at him. They both still for a long moment.

"Stop it." Levi mutters. Erwin doesn't say a word, overwhelmed by the way Levi blushes sunrise-pink with his entire body. "Erwin, stop staring like that."

Erwin shakes his head slightly, manages to murmur, "Sorry." He reaches out and pushes his knees apart gently, and again Levi—

Lets. 

Him. 

Erwin is starting to feel hysterical. This is too much. This is too little. He can't, he shouldn't, but _oh_ , he wants, he wants, he _wants_ —

Erwin licks his lips, dares to ask, "Can I…?"

"Fuck," Levi breathes. Erwin watches the rapid rise and fall of his chest, tries to match him breath by breath because he feels he might hyperventilate any second now. " _Yeah_ , fuck yeah, Erwin." Levi’s voice tapers into a soft gasp as Erwin leans forward immediately and places small kisses on the head of his flushed cock. And before Levi can finish hissing his swear, Erwin takes him in.

The high pitched gasp Levi lets out is _exquisite_ , and all Erwin wants now is to hear him make more of those sounds. He hollows his cheeks and sucks and swirls his tongue and gives it his everything, and is rewarded by more keening gasps. This is more than enough for Erwin, to know that _he_ is responsible for Levi's melodious panting. This is the best responsibility he's ever had.

Levi's hands are digging into his hair, wrenching _hard_ but he doesn't care. This is enough, this is perfect, _he_ is perfect—

"Erwin, stop!" Levi chokes, and Erwin does, immediately. Only then does he dare to glance up and the look on Levi's face makes his own cock twitch almost painfully.

"Not…" Levi breathes, clearly trying to control himself. "Not yet." His fingers are gentle in his hair now. "We have time."

Erwin's breath catches. "Alright."

Levi's gaze is heavy with intent. "Come here."

And Erwin obeys, of _course_ he obeys. He goes to sit next to him, and tries to lean away slightly, mindful of where his mouth has just been, but Levi drags him in and kisses him again and _licks_ into his mouth—

Erwin can't help the moan that escapes him and Levi parts only to scrabble at his shirt. Erwin helps him, dazed, the surrealness of the moment only heightening when Levi grabs his bolotie with a growl, "No. This stays on." Erwin can only nod, still gobsmacked.

They manage to push his shirt off his shoulders, when Levi pauses. "What's that look for?" Erwin realises his eyes are wide and unblinking, his mouth is still open.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it. "Just." He gestures vaguely between them. "I didn't think you were one for all of… this."

Levi huffs and attacks his belt. "I'm not usually." He doesn't really have to explain beyond that, and Erwin feels another stab of affection in his chest. "Anyhow, you're one to talk," Levi grumbles, whipping his belt out and tossing it aside. 

"What do you mean?"

Levi snorts. "Are you kidding me? You're always so. Stern." _Not with you,_ Erwin wants to say. "Always so put-together. When was the last time you jerked off?" Levi yanks at his pants, and the absolute absurdity of that question makes him grab his wrists.

Erwin moves closer, locking their gazes together, and murmurs, "Two days ago." Levi freezes. Erwin leans down and nuzzles his neck, smiles at the way his breath catches. "Do you know how much I long for you, Levi?" Even as he mouths at his collarbone, he guides one of his captive hands to the bulge in his crotch. "Do you see what you do to me?"

"Pervert," Levi gasps, his voice wavering.

Erwin hums. "Only for you."

At that Levi ducks down and claims his lips with his again. They move together in sync, and within no time they're grinding against one another, their kisses turned sloppy. When they part to breathe, Erwin is actually drooling, but Levi doesn't seem to mind at all. The very fact that he doesn't makes him feel another jolt of excitement.

"Take off your clothes," Levi barks, sounding breathless. He stands up and walks over to the shelves at the end of the room. "Where is it?"

Erwin almost loses his train of thought as he watches Levi pull off his shirt, moving with all the grace of a prowling predator, without a hint of self-consciousness in his nakedness. He manages to gather his wits enough to reply, "Bottom left."

They both know, as most cadets find out eventually in the military, that their gear oil can often be used for more _personal_ occasions. A cheap substitute to the special oils they can find in stores, but they make do. Levi bends over to retrieve the bottle, and suddenly Erwin can't take his clothes off fast enough. He throws his shirt behind him on the bed just as Levi turns around, and halts.

"Fuck," he whispers. "Look at you."

Erwin waits, feels pride and even more lust coil in his stomach as Levi stares unabashedly at his cock, and says in a low voice, "You're so fucking unfair." Erwin reaches out and entwines his fingers with Levi's. "You take the words right out of my mouth."

Levi ignores the compliment and kisses him again, soft once more. "How do you want to do this?"

Erwin can barely think straight, so he answers, "Whatever you want."

"Erwin—"

"Anything you want," Erwin insists, nipping at his lips. Levi leans away to stare down at him. "Anything?" He asks, his eyes glinting.

"Anything," Erwin repeats. All he wanted was _him_ and he's _got_ him. He couldn't possibly want anything more when Levi has already given him _so much…_

Levi's gaze darkens. "Well, then," he mutters and grabs his bolotie, " _Commander_ ." Erwin feels a bolt of _heat_ course through him when Levi yanks him closer and presses against him, chest-to-chest. "I was planning on fucking you into the bed," he murmurs in his ear, eliciting a gasp from Erwin when he rolls his hips, "but your cock is so beautiful I want to ride you until you come inside me." The way their crotches rub together makes them both gasp this time. "Does that sound good, _Commander_?"

Erwin's mouth is dry and his heart is hammering in his chest — Levi _never_ calls him that — and all he can do is nod. 

Levi smirks, just a hint of a lopsided curve of his kiss-bitten lips. "Good. Lie down for me." 

Erwin scrambles back immediately, adjusts his pillows in a hurry and lies down, his eyes still fixed on Levi, who crawls up to him and straddles his stomach. Then pauses. "What is it?" He asks, and Erwin marvels at how even his voice is. He tries to shake some sense into himself. "Nothing." He watches him sit up on his knees. “I never expected you to be such a tease.”

Levi grunts as he uncaps the bottle of oil. “No need to sound so surprised.”

Erwin smiles at the mock-offended tone. “I didn’t think you were capable of teasing, to be honest.”

Levi raises an eyebrow. “Let’s see what I’m _really_ capable of, hmm?” And he leans back and nudges Erwin's cock into the cleft of his ass and _moves_.

" _Fuck._ " Erwin's hands fly to his thick thighs, fingers digging into the muscle. _"Levi_."

Levi is actually grinning. "There's that dirty mouth I suspected on you." He bends down and gives him a sharp, biting kiss, then pulls away and coats his fingers with oil. "Watch me." And before Erwin can even agree, he reaches behind himself, his knuckles brushing tantalisingly against Erwin's erection.

Erwin can tell when he's started, can tell by the look on his face that this isn't pleasurable to him, not yet anyway. Wordlessly, he runs his hands up his thighs and grabs onto his firm ass, kneading them for a second before holding them apart. Levi grunts his thanks — it's a little awkward, so he shifts closer and Erwin has more of his delicious glutes to hold onto. 

But then he is quickly distracted. With Erwin holding him in place, Levi brings around his other hand and begins to touch himself, right in front of Erwin's face.

And Erwin watches, completely focused, completely enthralled. He watches the elegant fingers move in an unchanging rhythm, feels his mouth water when he sees the hand pause only to spread more precum and then continue to stroke in the same controlled pace. 

Then the fingers hitch, he hears a gasp; he knows what that means, and he glances up — and feels his gut twist when he sees that Levi is _watching him_ , his knife-edge gaze fixed on Erwin's face as he fucks himself on his fingers— 

Pure _need_ drives Erwin to blurt, "Can I—"

Levi closes his eyes, gasps again, and nods.

Erwin feels around for the bottle urgently, uncaps it and coats his own finger. Then he reaches around, and before Levi can move his hand out of the way, he nudges his own finger in.

They both groan out loud — Levi already has two of his own fingers squirming next to his and the feeling is _incredible_. Levi is panting again, a sheen of sweat glistens on his skin. He looks absolutely stunning.

"You're amazing," Erwin breathes and Levi makes a small noise in the back of his throat.

"Shut the- _oh_!" Erwin doesn't let him finish: he lifts his head and leans forward long enough to lick a languorous stripe up the underside of his weeping cock, causing Levi to let out his most beautiful moan yet.

" _Fuck_ , Erwin—"

"Beautiful," Erwin insists, rubs his finger down and drinks in the sound of yet another whine. "You're so _beautiful_ , Levi."

"En-enough." Levi pulls out his own fingers abruptly and raises himself off of Erwin's.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Levi sounds impatient, and Erwin understands. He feels like his heart might burst from the way it is thrumming. His skin feels electric. It's like he is caught up in the eye of a hurricane, where everything is calm on the surface but an undercurrent of something devastating and powerful beats in his very bones. Levi's storm-cloud eyes are fixed on his as he slicks up Erwin's cock, their gazes still locked on the other as he positions himself and then slowly, _slowly_ sinks down.

Yet again, they moan in sync and Levi is still for a long moment, his head hanging down.

"...Levi?" Erwin breathes. He is still so _tight_ that Erwin is worried—

Levi leans back to grip Erwin's thighs and lifts himself up. Then comes back down. Their shuddering sighs fill the room. Slowly, he starts to build the pace.

"Shit," Levi swears shakily as he bears down, "of _course_ you're packing a horse-dick."

Erwin's whine catches in his throat, and he chuckles instead. Levi shoots him a glare from under his sweat-damp hair. "Smug asshole."

Erwin tightens his grip on Levi's hips. "Ah, but this smug asshole is fucking _your_ snug asshole," he grins before he can stop himself.

Levi pauses and sits up. "I'll get up," he mumbles, his voice almost deadpan. "I'll leave right this moment."

Erwin is shaking with laughter. "No, no, sorry," he murmurs placatingly, rubbing his hands down his sides. "I'm sorry."

"Crazy old man," Levi grumbles and leans forward instead, holding onto Erwin's waist. Erwin has another smart response ready for that, but gets distracted when Levi's palms swiftly move up and grab his pecs.

"Even these are big enough to milk," Levi mutters, and _squeezes_ , and Erwin lets out a low whine. Levi's head instantly shoots up to look at him, his eyes are dark, mischievous gimlets.

"Oh?" He lifts his hips almost lazily. " _Sensitive_ , are we?"

Erwin is struck dumb again. Then Levi circles his hips down and Erwin's moan is lecherously loud when he also twists his nipples, _hard_.

"Levi!" He gasps, and Levi is grinning, his teeth glinting in the lamplight. "Excellent," he purrs, and he does it again, swings his hips down and pinches his nipples _again_. And again, and again.

Erwin is left a tense, shaking, moaning mess. The spark in Levi's stare dims, turns into something dark and heavy.

"Look at you," he murmurs, grinding down. "Look at you, _shit._ " In response, Erwin claws harder onto his hips, and almost unbidden, jerks his own hips up just as Levi is coming down again. Levi's voice devolves into a breathy gasp, they do it again — and just like that, they've found their rhythm.

They let their bodies do the talking after that, and as Erwin fucks into him, Levi's gasps go higher and higher until his cries are echoing in the room. He grabs Erwin's bolotie — which Erwin had completely forgotten until this moment — and pulls him up to practically devour his mouth. Erwin braces himself on one elbow, his hips still snapping up, back stretching almost to the limit, but he doesn't care, he can take it, and _Levi—_

Levi moans into his mouth before breaking away to duck his head and he starts to move faster, jerkier. The strap of the bolotie is digging into Erwin's neck, but he doesn't care, there'll surely be a mark but he _doesn't care,_ he loves it, loves being marked by him, loves _him—_

Levi is mouthing _Yes_ and _Oh_ and _Erwin!_ and Erwin begins to babble, barely paying attention to the words that slip from his lips. 

"You're perfect, so perfect, _God,_ Levi, my love, you're so lovely and perfect and I lo—"

" _Erwin_ ," Levi practically sobs, mouthing at his neck, his hips jerking erratically. "Please, _oh…"_

And Erwin gives him what he wants, of _course_ he does. "Yes, my love, _yes_ , come for me my darling my love—"

Levi stiffens up almost immediately, hot spurts of his cum splattering onto Erwin's abs. The feel of that and the way Levi ends up clenching is enough to drive him over the edge too, and Erwin comes hard, his vision turning white, Levi's name on his lips.

They collapse in a sweaty tangle, and Erwin nudges Levi slightly so he's lying next to him instead of on his now-sticky torso. They look at each other for a long moment, and Erwin wonders if Levi feels as fundamentally _changed_ as he does.

To his surprise and delight, Levi's eyelids begin to droop. _Levi_ , who normally sleeps about three hours a day, gets drowsy after orgasming. He finds the fact intensely endearing. He watches him doze, feeling light-headed, feeling his chest swell with love as always, but with no hint of the desperate pining from before. This is a gift. Levi is a gift he's sure he can never be worthy of.

Levi stirs after a couple minutes and tries to get up. Erwin holds him in place. "What are you doing?"

Levi frowns, gestures weakly at their midriffs. "Gross," he mutters.

Erwin presses a kiss onto his forehead. "Let me." He reaches behind him, finds his discarded shirt and begins to wipe up the mess. Levi lets him for a second, then recoils. "Erwin, that's your shirt."

"It's fine. I have to wash it anyway."

"That's fucking disgusting."

"It's fine, Levi."

"Do you _want_ to be called Commander Cumstain?"

Erwin chuckles, remembering. "You never called me that before." 

"What, Cumstain?"

" _Commander_ ," Erwin clarifies, cleaning up the last of the drying cum from between Levi's legs and tossing it onto the floor.

But instead of spouting another surly quip, Levi is suddenly quiet. Serious.

"You never called me that either," he mutters, and Erwin knows at once what he is referring to.

_My love._

He doesn't see any point in denying he meant it. "Well, you are. And…" He hesitates for a split second but he _can't_ not tell him. "...I do."

Levi is completely still, silent. His face is a frozen mask. Erwin waits, and waits, and begins anxiously, "Levi—"

"I still might die." 

And just like that, his heart twists with a sudden ache. All his fears and excuses come rushing back into his head.

"I know," he rasps.

"You'd better let me if I have to."

"I." Erwin's breath catches in his throat. He wants to tell him that he _knows_ , that he's loved him for _years_ but took this long to tell him exactly because of that fear of not being able to let him go if he had to.

"You know," Levi says without waiting for an answer, stroking his palm with a finger, "that I'd be dying for you, right?"

_Oh._

"Levi—"

His finger shifts to his lips, silencing him. "So don't let it be in vain," he murmurs. "Don't let my death mean nothing."

"You're not going to die," Erwin whispers.

"We're all going to die, Erwin." Levi leans his head on his shoulder. "Someday."

Erwin's heart is aching. "You're not going to die anytime soon."

Levi hums in agreement. "Neither are you." He glances up at him, his face completely serious. "Right?"

Erwin kisses the top of his head and hugs him closer, hiding his face before he can pretend to agree. "Right."

*

* * *

Erwin dreams a new dream that night. 

It's just Levi and him in his office. It's the middle of the afternoon, a cool breeze is wafting in from the open windows. Erwin is reading in his chair. Levi is napping on the couch, his cleaning tools piled neatly on the floor beside him. It's probably a memory turned into a dream. The only difference is the view from the open window: he can see all the way to the horizon. There are no Walls.

He wakes up to the grey light of dawn, slow and well-rested. Levi is somehow still asleep next to him, his hair a gloriously tangled mess, his loose fists bunched at Erwin's neck.

 _I love you_ , Erwin thinks, smiling, and as if he has heard him, Levi's eyes blink open.

"Good morning," Erwin says, smiling, and they begin their day with a kiss.

*

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: What can I say? Three dumbasses went into the making of this fic: Erwin, Levi, and me. I tried to make this shorter, but I just couldn't. They have so many feelings it's insane.
> 
> Sooo, how'd you like the porn? Was it too descriptive? Not descriptive enough? Didn't set the mood right? Went overboard with the setting? Tell me everything you think about it, I would really appreciate concrit on this!! :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


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